Wonders of the animal kingdom (please don't hate me)

(Note: Although this posting will contain references to my cat, I am not, I repeat, NOT, a weirdo cat person. I am a weirdo parakeet person.)

I recently rearranged my office so that my desk no longer faces a wall, but rather the center of the room. I put up a new lamp, moved the file cabinet to one side, it was like a whole new world. I found that I could actually get some work done in this new, cutting-edge layout.
Well, that held true for about ten minutes. See, I have a cat named Reese who is typically very well behaved and doesn't do any of those annoying cat cliche's e.g. shredding my clothes, hacking up hairballs, sitting on the book I'm trying to read, etc.

Turns out the little bastard was hiding his true colors. Now that I have the office set up all wicked-awesome he decides its time to sit on my laptop when I'm typing a paper. Or play with my highlighter, knocking it to the ground, then walking away non-chalant. My printer is covered with hair. My pencil cup has been knocked over not once, not twice, but thrice. My attempts to quash this new behavior have been met both with increased delinquency and physical attacks.

These antics are far from interesting, and I apologize to those of you who have wasted your time on such a worthless endeavor as this. However, Reese is a cute little fucker.